White Sox fan uses megaphone at ALCS to remind Astros they cheated

Sports

SAN DIEGO – With no fans in the stands, the Astros have steered clear of any hecklers during their playoff run.

Except for one.

Tim Kanter, a White Sox diehard, has been shouting from the rooftops – or a balcony, as it were – at the ALCS, reminding the former World Series champs they cheated.

“Part of the Astros ‘punishment’ was supposed to be the vitriol from the collective fanbases across Major League Baseball. They were supposed to be hearing this constantly for the 81 games they play outside of Houston. I really thought the greater baseball community would appreciate a voice in making sure that message was delivered.”

How it was delivered is unique its own right. Kanter works for a company with offices overlooking Petco Park, which has remained empty all season and, as it turns out, is well within earshot.

“Earlier in the year, when the Padres were playing Wil Myers hit a home run and I yelled out, ‘Yeah, way to go Wil!’ and he turned around from the outfield to look at me. So I was like ‘Okay. They can hear us.’ And that was without any amplification device.”

For the Astros, Kanter wanted to make his voice would be heard all the way in the batter’s box.

“Through our wonderful public school system, I was taught the Pythagorean Theorem,” explained the Clarendon Hills native. “I used some tools to calculate the length on the ground from home plate to the foot of the building and the height of the building minus the level of where I was going to be.”

From there, it was a matter of finding the right device to broadcast his message, in this case a ThunderPower Megaphone with a range of two thousand yards.

As for what he would say, Kanter had a manifesto for that.

“Attention: Members of the Houston Astros organization that participated in the sign stealing scandal of 2017 & 2018. You all are a bunch of cheaters. The global baseball community has not forgotten your transgressions against the game.  

Jose Altuve: you are a cheater, shame on you

Carlos Correa: you are a cheater, shame on you

Yuli Gurriel: you are a cheater, shame on you

Jerry Springer: you are a cheater, shame on you

Josh Reddick: you are a cheater, shame on you

Alex Bregman: you are a cheater, shame on you

We condemn Rob Manfred’s unwillingness to hold players accountable for bringing shame to our beautiful sport. Remember: cheating is wrong.  Please do not cheat.”

Outside of calling George Springer ‘Jerry,’ which resulted in an ensuing home run, Kanter stayed away from any name calling. He didn’t want to cloud his message.

“I love baseball. It’s one of my favorite things in the whole world. I was just so offended by this really heinous act. Let’s not sugar coat it – the Houston Astros cheated and won a World Series. That’s really sad. There isn’t much holy these days, but the integrity of competition is something that we have to make sure is always in place. Otherwise, what’s the point?”

Kanter believes he got his point across and now that it’s been heard by the masses, he doesn’t plan on giving Houston any more problems from the balcony.

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