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Mother outraged after daycare note accuses 9-month-old of being ‘aggressive’

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GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — A mother is outraged after a daycare center gave her a note accusing her 9-month-old baby of being “aggressive.”

According to Babble, a Disney-owned parenting Web site, the note said the baby was “playing roughly and aggressively with the other babies.”

The baby was apparently told, “[I]t’s not OK to hurt her friends,” but the girl was “smiling and going right back.”

The note also accused the 9-month-old of enjoying herself while other babies seemed upset.

Dr. Adelle Cadieux, a psychologist at a children’s hospital, told Babble, “Kids go through that stage where they just to see want cause and effect: ‘If I do this, this happens,’”

“They’re learning. They get excited about the learning aspect as opposed to recognizing, ‘Oh what I’m doing is wrong,’” she said.

The letter ends by asking the parents to “help us out by maybe discouraging her to not play roughly with her friends.”

Babble transcribed the whole note to read the following:

Samantha has been playing roughly and aggressively with the other babies; they will be crying and upset but she is smiling and enjoying herself — even our using firm voices to tell her it’s not OK to hurt her friends and remove her from area, she is smiling and going right back. Can you help us out by maybe discouraging her to not play roughly with her friends and her dog.


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  • Bethi

    Nine months old is not too young to be corrected for being too aggressive. I’ll bet if it were the psychologist’s child who was the victim of this child’s cause and effect learning stage, she wouldn’t be quite so matter-of-fact in her analysis. Also, the fact that a mom is “outraged” that her child’s problematic behavior is being corrected could be both an explanation for the behavior and an indicator of future problems.

    • Jozi

      I see absolutely nothing wrong with this note. The reaction of this mother (and all those who think this daycare provider is in the wrong) is ludicrous. All the daycare provider is simply doing is trying to communicate with the parent what she sees and asks the parent’s assistance to correct aggression at home. 9 months is not too young to encourage respect and playing nice. By the reaction of this mother, had it been her child that was the victim of another toddler, I bet she’d be outraged–AGAIN.

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