Midday Fix: The Heart of the Fight author Judith Wright

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Dr. Judith Wright, Ed.D.

www.judithwright.com

Check out the website to get two free chapters of her new book.

 

The 7 Rules Of Fighting Fair On Valentine’s Day

Minimize the negative
Ticked off because your significant other didn’t make plans for Valentine’s Day? Minimize the destructive, contemptuous fighting tactics like blaming, attacking, name-calling, sarcasm, and mocking. No fight is perfect but low blows don’t get you anywhere.

Accentuate the Positive
Use fighting tactics to move you forward. Be open, vulnerable, genuine, and truthful, and tell your partner why it really matters.

Never take or give more than 50% of the blame
It takes two to tango! Maybe your date started the argument, but you were the one who responded poorly. In any fight, the highest percentage of blame any one person can have is 50%. It may not be easy, but if you can stick to this rule, you’ll be amazed how much more productive your fight will be.

Take 100% responsibility for your happiness and satisfaction
It’s your job to make yourself happy and yours alone. Don’t expect your partner to be a mind reader. If you want something specific for Valentine’s Day or in your relationship, ask for it. Be direct.

Express and agree with the truth, always
Tell the truth. And, any time your partner says something that is true, acknowledge it. In most fights a lot of true things get said, but we don’t admit it. Really practice saying, You’re right…Good point…Hadn’t thought of it that way… And if you were wrong, fess up. The truth goes a long way.

Fight FOR, not against
Most of us fight against something we don’t want vs. fighting for what we do want. What are you fighting for? Do you want to be heard, affirmed, or to matter? Do you want to be closer? Get a certain result? Go for it directly. And watch the complaining, that’s never fighting for something.

Assume good will
Always assume the other person has good will, rather than ill will for you. Sure, you may sometimes want to hurt your partner or they want to hurt you in the heat of the battle. By assuming they have positive intentions, rather than assuming they have it out for you, your fight will more likely get resolved.

18 comments

    • Cynthia Koroll, RN,JD

      Erick.
      I am an attorney licensed to practice in Illinois. I do not represent the Wrights but I am very familiar with the factual situation regarding their licensure. You have made a false statement regarding Dr Bob and Judith Wright. The Illinois Department of Financial and Professional Regulation has taken no such action. There has been no suspension. http://Www.ifdpr.gov lists all such actions and the site is devoid of the data you assert to be true.

      The document you reference is an appellate court action regarding the issue of jurisdiction over the licenses. Dr Bob Wright has no adverse licensure action. The Appellate Court made no such finding.

      Erick, it appears your anger is only eclipsed by your uninformed status.
      I suggest that you read the link that you have posted and obtain an informed, factual status for your allegations- please feel free to contact me to discuss this matter further. I think you misunderstand the difference between allegation and fact.

      As to your allegations of Dr Wright running a cult Erick, you are simply mistaken. It appears you have some unfinished business with the Wright’s. May I suggest that a better way to channel your agression might be a deep exploration into the truth?

      What is it that you want to achieve here Erick? It is somewhat cowardly to assert allegations with no basis in fact. Dr Judith Wright did a lovely presentation for the benefit of the public. I am sorry that you carry so much hurt, Erick. It must be very painful for you to live in a state of negativity and conflict.

      Truth is fair, Erick. Your words are not truthful.

      Cynthia Koroll
      Koroll Litigatuon Group
      630 North Church
      Rockford, Il 61103

      • Erick

        Cynthia I do not care if you are an attorney, a scientist or a garbage man, facts are facts. Quite frankly attorneys are some to the most licentious people on the planet defending folks who CLEARLY are guilty, all to “win” an argument. If your “facts” were correct Cynthia why did have their licenses been SURRENDERED INDEFINITELY BY THE STATE OF ILLINOIS?? Maybe with your background as an attorney you are used to the verbal abuse the folks at Wright divulge, and all the “honesty” they speak of. I am not angry Cynthia, I am a proponent of TRUTH and ADVOCACY. You can use legal jargon all you want but the fact remains they do NOT have licenses hence they are “life coaches,” they changed their business name MANY times as to con others when they search them. Stuck up for the bad guys, why not?

  • Gayle

    I too am outraged that WGN would promote these people. Have you not Googled them and found dozens upon dozens of CULT complaints from hundreds of people? I myself was conned into going to their infamous “Transform Weekend” by a friend. It was the most brainwashing experience ever. People crying, sleep deprived, expected to be at Wright from Fri at 5pm til midnight, back Sat from 8 am til 11pm then Sunday 8am til 10 pm. They try to get you to pay $10K for their “Year of Transfomation.” I smelled cult and corruption as soon I as went in and did my due diligence and found SO MANY NEGATIVE THINGS about these fanatics! Even Bob and Judith earned their PHD’s from an online school who is under investigation as a “degree mill,” in CA.

    • Cynthia Koroll, RN,JD

      Gayle,

      I have read and disagree with your assertions. I am an attorney’s licensed to practice law in Illinois. I have thoroughly vetted your remarks and find them inaccurate and false,

      Many students obtain online degrees. Dr Judith Wright has published an excellent thesis. Claims of degree mills do not add up.

      As a Transform student it is unfortunate you have not taken the time to interact with Dr Wrignt instead of listing complaints with very little factual basis,

      I have Googled them. I cannot verify your claims.

      What is it that you need to do to feel better about your failed Transform weekend? I suggest you contact Wright to see how issued can be addressed. This is simply not the way to get what you want here or from Wright.

      I hope you can resolve your anger and move forward.

      Cynthia Koroll, RN, JD

      • Ahmed

        Cynthia “Your data on the licensure issue is incorrect. The information you have on the Women’s Weekend is not factual. The info you list on the site is not supported.”

        Why because YOU said its not correct? I provided substantial evidence proving ALL MY STATEMENTS ARE TRUE, and just bc you are an attorney and said they are not correct, they aren’t? Give me a break lady. Not sure why you are defending the cult, other than, shocker you are a cult member. SHOW us how those statements are false, not “just bc you said so bc you are an attorney.”

        Lastly, “hurt, ANGER, fear, sadness and joy,” aren’t those the only emotions, the Wright’s talk about? Yes you are correct I am angry that they have taken advantage of so many people, including yourself.

  • Ahmed

    My experience, along with MANY others can most succinctly be summed up on this site: http://escapedwageslave.blogspot.com/2009/09/weekend-with-wrights.html Want to know what the Wright’s are all about…just Google them. Only their brainwashed students, who’ve spent their life savings, praise these con-artists. But hey if going to an isolated WI “women’s retreat” and be forced to stand in your underwear as “Dr. Bob and Dr. Zwell” berate your body and degrade you, sure be my guest! Did I mention they force you to surrender your car keys and cell phones? Yup, bc its in “our” benefit to be further isolated and succumb to the massive group pressures of other cult members. Sounds like self development to me! Be careful if you plan on getting involved with these folks. Their licenses have been revoked my the State of IL so they are NOT allowed to practice therapy here…that is why they are “life coaches” bc there is ZERO governing body. You’ve been warned and sad WGN did not protects its viewers by promoting them.

    • Cynthia Koroll, RN,JD

      Ahmed,

      I hear your anger and upset. Your data on the licensure issue is incorrect. The information you have on the Women’s Weekend is not factual. The info you list on the site is not supported.

      I hear your upset. I assure you that your claims cannot be validated.

      Www. IDFPR. Org governs licensure. Please review the site and consider only posting fair and correct information.

      Cynthia Koroll
      Attorney at law.

      I do not represent the Wrights or their organization. I do however wholeheartedly and in good faith support their work and their mission.

    • Cynthia Koroll, RN,JD

      I am eagerly awaiting any factual data in the licensure issue to be accurately portrayed in these comments.
      Certainly if there was any document on revocation of licensure, the naysayers would quickly post it. All disciplinary decisions by the Illinois Department of Financial and Professional Regulation are posted at http://www.ifdpr.org. This is the ONLY agency to license social workers and therapist in Illinois.

      Erick, Gayle and Ahmed are unable to support their allegations with truth. It really is quite simple to determine who is right and who is wrong here by checking the IFDPR web site. Simple. But, it appears that some prefer unsubstantiated allegations and gossip.

      I hear fear and ignorance.
      Hidden in anonymity. Cowardice.

      Cynthia Koroll

  • Joe

    The Wright Foundation, The Wright Leadership Institute, The Wright Foundation for The Realization of Human Potential….and the list goes on. Why are you people not looking into this scam artists past? They have gone through countless business names to try to disguise themselves so nobody finds all the CULT stuff that’s spewing everywhere about them.

  • Peter

    I’ve researched this institute, their programs, and their ideology. Everything they do is backed by research that is available to everyone. And the main objective is empowerment, cracking our false selves, getting to the truth, and connecting with others more authentically. What we are talking about is emerging humanity to a higher level, living more consciously, and with greater integrity. This is challenging to those who want to continue to live in fear, drama, and victimhood. The world needs an adjustment for the better, and what Dr. Judith has to offer is a part of this process. What do those who slander and attack them have to offer that is better, and how are they raising humanity towards it’s full potential? I’d rather hang out with Drs. Bob and Judith anyday than these highly negative, defeating, and fearful folks that responded here. I certainly don’t know anyone else who is working harder or organizing this information more effectively. Growing up isn’t easy, but thank God it is happening. In this world of conflict, irresponsibility, and chaos, love & consciousness are emerging. My heart goes out to you, and all those who get it too.

  • Ally

    It saddens me to see such hateful comments, but then again it’s the exact same reason why we need to change the world order. Drs. Bob & Judith teach all the theories and concepts that have been around since Socrates. Only people who are not courages enough to face their real self are the onesdisturbed the tratraining.

  • Veronique

    I find it funny when someone uses the “internet” as their source of information and reference, most specifically webpages, blogposts that are created by anyone. I feel the fear and anger in all your negative posts. I have attended the Year of Transformation and I can say that my life has considerably changed. I can only speak of my own experience, but I have also observed numerous other lives being changed through the work being done at the Wright Institute. People will believe what they choose to believe, hear what they choose to hear. Wasn’t Jesus crucified because he was claiming that he was the Son of God? Fear is behind a lot of negative and hateful behavior in this world.

  • Candy

    It is very hurtful to read the remarks of these people.
    I have experienced the work of Dr’s Bob and Judith Wright as being truly life transforming in so many positive ways.

    The methodology is challenging and because of this, it works, breaking through habitual ways of thinking and behaving through addressing key, practical ways of implementing change.

    I am a small business owner. After participating in numerous other personal development programs, I’m finally beginning to get what I want out of life … A successful business,
    (My business has never been more profitable since doing the Year of Transformation) better personal and professional relationships, meeting my fitness goals, a greater sense of real purpose and meaning in my life. The list goes on…

    It’s very sad when a few people who miss the objective and find only negative things to say, slander people who are really doing good works in this world and making a positive difference in the lives of FAR more people.
    A more responsible statement from these people would address key principles/issues they disagree with to open a discussion and not potentially ruin an opportunity for others who could really benefit, like so many people clearly have.

  • Brian

    I can speak from experience, I was involved with right leadership in their year of transformation. I attended one quarter, and though I dropped out I did get some good skills from it. The reason I dropped out was because I too had read all the negative comments and put pieces together. Is far as another user stating they are research-based, he probably did not read any of their books if he had he would know for example transformed! One of their latest books has work cited from 1920, 1990, 1970, extremely extremely outdated information, and ironically they use blogs as sightings as well. I cannot make this stuff up if anybody goes to the back of any of their book and read the work cited you will know that they are not getting their research from any medical or scientific journals. Not on one instance never. I encourage everybody to make decisions on their own, I do not think they are qualified to do what they’re doing. They are doctors of education but all they talk about are psychologists in psychology and neuroscience. Not one of the rights nor any of their board of directors have any background in psychology. Furthermore all of their adjunct faculty who are also coaches do not have any psychology background. It’s a very fine line of what they’re doing. It may technically not be illegal but it’s definitely shady and I highly recommend against going.

  • Megan

    I think this is solid advice from Judith on creating more intimacy in my relationships. I have taken many classes at Wright, and have had a very positive experience in my career development and also my personal life. Their rates and fee’s are very reasonable when compared to other coaching organizations, and in my experience the value is very high. I really appreciate and value the community at Wright, as I have connected and networked with many people who are goal oriented and looking for personal development. It has been fantastic to connect with many like minded people. Each coach I have worked with at Wright has been able to provide me with feedback and coaching in ways to develop myself. There seems to be a lot of accusations on this website that are not my experience. I have nothing but positive things to say about Dr. Judith and Dr. Bob’s work.

  • joy

    I have been taking classes at Wright now for over 2 years, and am going on to achieve my Masters in Business Leadership at WGU. Wright’s classes are inspiring, thought-provoking, and helpful whether you are a stay-at-home mom or a leader in business. Everyone can find Wright’s methodologies and lessons relatable and usable on a daily basis.

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