Focus on Family: Stopping the cycle of self sabotage

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Karen Berg

To purchase a copy of the book:

Your Self-Sabotage Survival Guide: How to Go From Why Me? to Why Not?

Take five minutes, sit alone in a cozy room and do the Decompression Exercise:

Take five deep breaths. Breathe in, count to five, breath out. Repeat.
Think of a place you’d rather be, a place that calms you. Don’t think of going to the place as an escape, but as an inspiration. It’s not a cave; it’s a parachute.
Take five more deep breaths. Breathe in, count to five, breath out. Repeat.
Dream, meditate, and cleanse your brain. What are you doing in that place? What’s the thing you most like to do? Think about it. Visualize.
Take five more deep breaths. Breathe in, count to five, breath out. Repeat.

The Reality Check Quiz

Do you have more than 10 things on your to-do list?
If answered yes, you are sabotaging yourself. You are overwhelming your life unnecessarily; Simplify

When you have a big project ahead of you, do you look at the whole project or do you break it down into pieces?
If answered “try to deal with it all at once you are sabotaging yourself. Break the project down into small manageable units.

If you have a big task ahead, do you hide from it or roll up your sleeves to take it on?
If answered hide from it -- put it off —- you are sabotaging yourself. Dissect it. Don’t know how? Ask for help

Do you opt out of things that are elective?
If answered yes, you are sabotaging your potential for growth and happiness

When someone confronts you, do you listen? Do you withdraw? (Or is your safe place being the bully?)
If you tend to withdraw or lash out you are sabotaging yourself.  Keep your cool

What’s most important to you: past, present, or future?
If you answered past or future you are sabotaging yourself. You can’t change the past; you can’t control the future. Keep your eye on the prize down the road but stay focused in the present; the here and now

When something happens to you, do you react immediately or do you stew on it for a while?
If you react impulsively you are sabotaging yourself. React without thinking and you may find yourself burning some bridges.

Do you willingly listen to advice?
Simply listening to advice doesn’t not mean you have to always take the advice, but opening yourself to other options is important to finding a solution

Do you have friends and mentors that are both older and younger than you? How do you choose them?
It’s imperative we have mentors both older and younger than ourselves in order to grow and achieve

Do you make “me time”? If so, how much?
No time for yourself. You must carve out an hour a day for “me” time

Do people come to you for advice?
No one asks you for advice? Well, time to take action. Are you intimidating or unreliable?

Are people open to working with you?
If no one wants to be on your team, why is that?  Change it.